righteousness

do we all agree life is a good thing?
if your mind fundamentally changes someday, would you want your body to continue housing it as if the new personality was in fact you? the light in your eye reflects a little differently now. your steps seem hesitant and unsure looking at us, but determined walking towards the road, going north. how you walked ahead of everyone else into the strangest situations and how i followed you, always eventually catching your habits a while after you'd seek out something new. i never heeded your warnings. i think you knew i'd fracture.
on that day, I never asked, and I should have. i didn't realize until today. did you want me to grab your arm? you'd just asked us to keep our hands off. it was selfish of me. i apologize. i think you wanted to die then, there. but i wanted to take you for lunch one last time, and i didn't want to see you hit and have to survive a car crash and a psychiatric ward in the same two months. maybe you just didn't know where you were going and that was all, but if you knew when we were younger how your mind would unfurl do you think you'd have wanted to live through it? if I get to that point, do I? can one?
your blood is the same, and your hair and your clothes are the same except for the ones you gave away in the move. yeah, you moved back to london, where you ran away to in the first place, your second and realer home; where you gave yourself no grace and covered the rot with high-quality architecural grade stone masonry, although it wasn't your fault, and built a mental escape perfectly suited to an eternal dream. thinking about it, you fulfilled your lifelong dream mentally instead of externally and when you hit your absolute limit that's where you went. i know of people who dance on that limit and are able to stay in touch with the world around them, but you have retreated from us all while attempting to drag us along.
ever since then, i've been slowly leaking away. your memories, your mental habits, all intact, but the associations you made are now corrupted and abstracted so you can hide away from any new input completely.